I finally went to my grandma's house again today

it was just

empty

like I opened the door just as slowly as I usually do because I was trying not to let her dog get out

but that dog is our dog now and wasn't there

I almost even said "hey it's us" toward the living room like I tend to do

it was terrible in a way because it was just left like it would be any other day

she just died so unexpectedly and suddenly

she never even had health problems it was just

sudden

I think the only genuinely good part was my mom found a tape recorder and when she played it back I heard my grandpa's voice again

that part was hilarious because the recording was literally only "Ok one, two, three, four... why won't you record you piece of shit?"

but yeah

I got her tennis bracelet also and I'm going to break down at the funeral no question

you know, this is the second relative that died this year

the only difference was that my grandma was as close to me as my parents

and I remembered my last words to her

"Thank you for giving us a ride! See you later!"